When my older daughter was born, something shifted in me. Up until that time, I wasn’t sure if I was made for Motherhood, but holding that tiny human for the first time made me realise a few things about myself. 
The first week she was home, my husband was reading the newspaper and he saw one of those articles where they show an abandoned baby’s face, asking for help to locate their parents. And that baby looked so much like Zara, it broke our hearts. 
I think that was the day I knew I was going to adopt a child someday. 

But we never discussed it. 

A lot happened, we changed states, I changed careers and we sort of settled into a single child couple. But when Zara was 4, we moved back to Gurgaon and I thought now we won’t move again. Since we felt grounded now, we sort of stumbled upon the topic of adoption. And to my surprise, The Husband had similar thoughts. So we applied to CARA and waited. For 2 years. On some days it felt like the day would never come, on other days I had massive baby fever! 
And then, on my 40th bday, while holidaying, we got the call. “Come and take her!” 

Last week of Sept 2018. 
We didn’t tell anyone in our family that we got the call. It was out of state so we bought tickets, arranged for Zara to stay with the grandparents and basically took off. 
And as luck would have it, due to bad weather, we were in the air for 8 hours but couldn’t land because the airport there was tiny and the weather totally unstable. 
We came back, told immediate family and took off again after 3 days. 
I had major anxiety, and I fainted on the night before 🙈
Once we reached, we were given an appointment for the next day at 9 am to meet her. 
All we had up until this point was her picture, taken when she was a week old. She was 3 months now. 
There are a lot of formalities to be done when you go to get the baby. The biggest and the most important is medical history, however little or extensive they might have, you need your own paediatrician to have a look at it. And then take the baby to a Dr at the location. 
A lot can go wrong. Medical history might be missing, might be incorrect, might be incomplete, etc. And until you get the go ahead from these quarters, you shouldn’t get attached to the child. 

Oct 2018
We reached the agency, it was atop a hill, in a beautiful mountainside. I remember thinking, we will take the baby from this Heaven into the Hellhole known as Gurgaon! 
We arrived and met the caretakers, they were very warm and welcoming but my heart was in my mouth. 
The moment had arrived. I literally couldn’t breathe, my mouth was dry, my hands were shaking… And then they told us, she wasn’t home. She had gone to the market with her Nanny. 
I remember the air leaving my body, totally deflated. 
We did our paperwork, her stuff was being packed. I couldn’t focus on anything. And then I heard her voice. The Nanny was coming up the hill with her on her back. The curtain parted and there she was. A big red chubby face with the biggest grin I ever saw, in a green jumper. And just like that my heart split in 2. One for each of my Zs. I sobbed like a baby when she was put in my arms. Finally she was mine and she was perfect. 

Zoya today (18 months)

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